Keep My Kindness
by Mikka K-chan
Summary: *YAOI- Daiken/Kensuke, Tasuke/Daikeru* Ken's thinking about himself, what has been said, and his love.


****

K-chan-- Yay, finally, a finished ficcy for me. And it has angst, FINALLY!

****

Wormmon-- It's… so sad! Ken-chan!! *bawls*

****

Seiji-- *cough* Mikka does not own Digimon, thank God, it's owned by people such as Toei and Saben. She is making no money off of this fic, as this is fanfiction, so you have no reason to sue her in any way, shape, or form, and if you do anyway, you will be making an outright fool of yourself. There.

__

Oi, Ken! You're not thinking right!

Classic words, Daisuke. Simply classic. How do you know what I'm thinking, and if it's 'right'? How do you know what ran through my mind? How do you know my pain?

You don't. You never have. You never will.

__

Huh? Oh, we were just hanging out- don't be so overprotective, Ken! Geesh!

I'm sorry. I don't want to be overprotective; I don't want to be thought of as possessive or jealous. But it looks like I had my reasons, didn't it?

I've been a lot of things.

I've never been stupid.

__

Oh, Daisuke? He's at Takeru's- he's been staying there for the week. Didn't you check there first?

I didn't think it would happen. I guess I was ignorant, or something- everyone probably knew it was happening. None of them really trusted me, anyway- Miyako used to, with her crush but once she found out about Daisuke and me, it was over. And Yamato and Hikari were always somewhat kind, maybe because of the darkness in them, but their loyalties easily lie to Takeru.

I guess… I guess I should have learned my lesson. Osamu-niichan left, Mama and Papa have disowned me, Ryou-kun… left, Miyako won't speak to me, and now Daisuke…

__

MATTE! Ken… dai suki!!

I wondered, did you just say that to get me to stop? To get me to live? I remember standing with the knife on my wrist, when you ran in, when you screamed it at me. I remember the rush, I remember the tangled emotions, I remember lying in bed with you hurting like hell.

__

Why do I love you? Oi, who wouldn't love you? Your smart, you're gorgeous, athletic… but I think it's your kindness. I love your kindness.

I still have the crest that I was given, all these years later. Kindness. The only reason I was kind was you, Dais. You held my sanity together; you kept HIM at bay. You're the reason I'm alive- if you weren't with me, I would have lost control and let loose the Kaizer long long ago…

And that would most definitely not be 'kind'.

__

Mmm, I just don't want to have to move…

It hurt, Dai. It still does. You lying there with him, telling him you loved him. I haven't seen you so happy since we first met, really. You looked so peaceful and happy, and so did he. For a moment, I felt HIM try to overcome me, to kill you both. But you don't deserve that. As much as I hate to admit it, Takeru doesn't deserve it.

But it still hurts.

O_h god, please don't' stop… don't stop!!!_

Daisuke…

I won't mention that I saw you, you know.

__

Ken… you won't ever decide you're too good for me, will you? …Promise me?

I'll continue going on. I'll continue dating you, while you have Takeru on the side. I'll keep smiling and being kind, and the day you confess that you two are in love, I'll greet it with a smile and a nod, and I say that I expected it. And when the other Chosen ask if I am all right, I'll smile and say that I'll deal with it and that things will go. When Wormmon worries about me at night, I'll smile and send him to go see Veemon, assuring him that things are fine.

I'll keep my kindness. Without you, it's my only weapon left.

……

Just remember that I'll always love you, Dai.

****

Wormmon-- *still bawling* Daisuke no baka! How could someone… hurt… Ken-chan… WAAHHH!!

****

Duo-kun-- Well, at least it had a bit of angst in it… hmph, when are you going to do Gundam Wing?

****

K-chan-- Blah, sometime. Anyway… I'm thinking of making this the prolog and writing a story of what happens before and after this- all about the relationships of the Chosen, and a few pop-ups from Ryou-sama. How about it? A few reviews would be nice, if you guys can spare a moment. =)


End file.
